Where the Word Ends and the Work Begins
I’ve been reflecting on how we use the word community—and how quickly it can start to feel abstract. In facilitation, we often begin by defining key terms so everyone can establish some foundational language. When we ask, “What do we mean by community?” the answers vary:
Is it simply any gathering of people?
Is it a group that collaborates toward a shared goal?
Is it rooted in geography—those we live among?
Is it based on affinity—people who share an identity or experience?
Each definition points to different obligations. Whatever we choose, the important part is agreeing on how we want to be together—as Quanita Roberson says, “who do we want to be to each other?”
Community as a Practice
I believe that community is essential. I still believe that, but I’ve also learned it’s work. You have to show up for it. Saying we value community is easy; practicing it tests our values in real time:
Conflict: Can we stay in conversation when we disagree or cause harm?
Consistency: Will we keep showing up, even when it’s inconvenient?
Self-trust: Can we address problems internally instead of outsourcing every solution?
Restorative practice teaches that we can hold our own conflicts, seeking outside help when needed, but trusting ourselves to do the hard relational work first.
Where I’m Seeing Both Struggle and Beauty
I’ve witnessed breakdowns where a different choice could have been made, and I see when others are wrestling with the same tensions. Yet I also see powerful examples:
A friend is spending two weeks caring for a dear friend and mentor with a serious illness.
Another offering to be a “candy striper” for a beloved church member who is in a nursing home.
These acts remind me that community isn’t just a celebration; it’s choosing to shoulder discomfort, sacrifice time, and stay present through difficulty.
The Lakou Lesson
In a previous blog post, I wrote about the lakou, a Haitian model of communal living that emphasizes mutual support. In this season of pressure and uncertainty, the lakou invites us to pour into one another, to hold space and grace for ourselves and for others.
So I’ll keep asking the question: Who do we want to be to each other? When we slow down and answer honestly, our path toward real community becomes clearer.
Just a reflection, offered as both a challenge and a reminder. If we stay with the work, community can still hold us.
What does your community ask of you right now?
And who do you want to be to others in this season?
I invite you to pause and reflect, then take one small step toward showing up with care.
